


an immeasurable fall (we'll jump together)

by someticket



Series: These Backhanded Vows [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: !!THE SUICIDE IS NOT REAL BUT THE CHARACTERS THINK IT IS!!, Cultural Differences, Fake Character Death, Fake Marriage, Multi, Not Compliant with Avatar Comics, Pining, Polyamory, Suicide, dealing with the fact your family destroyed multiple cultures..., its not any of the gaang dw, let's go baby!, power lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:22:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23191585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/someticket/pseuds/someticket
Summary: It's about the time when Aang and Katara get engaged that Zuko remembers that the Fire Nation is not a democracy, and he is probably expected to produce an heir.
Relationships: Mai/Ty Lee (Avatar), Sokka/Suki/Zuko (Avatar), The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar)
Series: These Backhanded Vows [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1696150
Comments: 36
Kudos: 760
Collections: AtLA <25k fics to read





	an immeasurable fall (we'll jump together)

**Author's Note:**

> remember in boiling rock a prisoner turned to zuko and sokka and said 'hey boys, your girlfriend...'  
> anyway this fic is for fourteen year old me who couldn't forget it
> 
> EDIT: 6/7/2020  
> hi everyone! this is getting more attention than i thought, so after a bit of deliberation i want you all to know that azula isn't dead. "these backhanded vows" will eventually fill out with loads of oneshots, and her outcome will be one of those !! i know azula is a huge comfort character to a lot of people, and she deserves a redemption- i just think away from zuko. 
> 
> im working on a multichap rn, and honestly don't know if im able to write from her prospective yet, but it's coming.

It's about the time when Aang and Katara get engaged that Zuko remembers that the Fire Nation is not a democracy, and he is probably expected to produce an heir.

It's the sort of thing he should talk to Mai about, but that seems like a cheap conversation to have at someone else's engagement party, so he accepts his drink in silence and tunes into the conversation. Katara is complaining about her new vegetarian diet, and Aang laughs and elbows her gently. It's obviously for show- her eyes are bright and she's not even looking at Sokka's plate of smoked Water Tribe fish.

Of course, the actual engagement was weeks earlier. Zuko hadn't been there, but surprisingly Toph had, and between her excited retelling and the couples earnest interruptions, he's managed to piece the scene together. Aang had been planning since he was twelve, basically, caught between a traditional Water Tribe or Air Nation proposal and eventually just blurted it out after seeing Katara dance for an evil spirit, or something.

Katara had called them all to the Northern Air Temple the next day, and they had celebrated together- just the six of them. No politics, no autographs, just singing and drinking games and all of them sleeping on the floor by a campfire. They've been children and war heroes and world leaders, but all along they've been the centre of each other's universes. 

Zuko sighs. Across the table, Suki raises an eyebrow, concerned.

A man appears at Aang's left elbow, and the Airbender deflates before standing to greet him. Seeing the slump in her fiancé's shoulders, Katara follows suit, and the three walk out of earshot. Zuko squints after them,, trying to recognize him- with only the six of them seated at their table it's easy to forget that this is a highly political event with dozens of important people. Aang has an entire culture to repopulate, and some people aren't happy with a Waterbender wife to skew the genetics.

Its his family's fault that Aang can't be with who he wants. It was his family who sowed the seeds of hatred into his people and convinced them to take down innocents. It was them who killed an entire nation, monks too old to be the Avatar and children too young to even walk. It was his people who smelled the charred flesh of thousands and thought about dinner.

His throat is tight. Zuko takes his drink and swallows it in one go. It's Water Tribe, dry and flat, and he ends up coughing most of it onto the floor beside him. Sokka leans over and gives him a clap on the back.

"Nice try, buddy," he laughs. "You Fire Nation folk can't hold down our stuff. It's straight from the tundra"

But he keeps going until Zuko can straighten up. Everyone around the table refuses to make eye contact, trying not to smile. 

"I've been drinking wine at family dinners since I was thirteen!" He protests. 

Suki frowns. "I thought the drinking age in the Fire Nation was twenty-five?"

"It is," Toph cuts in. "They can join the army almost a decade younger. They had no idea what constituted a man." Her lip is caught in a sneer.

"It's seventeen in the Tribe," Sokka offers. "It's traditional for people to go for drinks after a hunt." He pauses. "It's also tradition for teenagers to sneak away with alcohol with their friends." He picks up his drink and knocks it back. Zuko watches the movement of his neck. "I've been drinking this stuff since I was fourteen."

His voice isn't even raspy.

Suki leans forward on her elbows. "What other traditions are in the Water Tribe," she asks, and Zuko can tell she's genuinely interested. After living most of her life on the same, secluded island, she's determined to learn as much as she can about other places.

Sokka beams at her, and leaps onto the table. "Esteemed guests," he calls, and then starts speaking quickly and surely, words spilling out of him like wind through his fingers. Zuko doesn't understand a word of it. He would have suspected Sokka's drinking capabilities of not for Katara whipping around fast enough to blur. There are tears in her eyes and the stars seem to shine a bit brighter on her face.

It is, Zuko realizes, some sort of tribal language. He turns in his seat to see everyone's reactions- the Southern tribes wet cheeks and sad smiles, the furrowed brows and concentration of the North. The Earthen kingdom are silent, clearly not understanding what's being said but respecting the speech all the same.

Zuko could count the Fire Nation attendees on his fingers, and each and every one looks confused.

Sokka finishes to hearty applause and bows before slipping back into his seat. Katara breaks from whoever she was speaking with to fall into his lap and throw her arms around his neck. She's whispering something over and over, and Zuko doesn't understand her but still tries not to eavesdrop.

He tilts his head back and breathes. Somewhere on his left he hears a guttural, low pitched speech and closes his eyes for a moment before turning his head to Suki.  
"That was Kyoshian." She explains. "It's native to my island, but enough like the Earthen Common for me to talk to Toph.

"I didn't know," Zuko whispers.

Suki shrugs. "I'm lucky, my island preserved it pretty well." She glances at the siblings. "Some people weren't so lucky."

Toph plays idly with her chopsticks, bending them in and out of shape. "Kids had to wear a wooden collar," she says. "Every time they spoke Earthen Common at home their parents had to put a nick in the wood, and in school the teachers would hit the kid for every nick."

Zuko stares at her. She can't see the horror on his face, but still drops the chunk of metal to face him. "I was home-schooled, remember? I was never hit."

"I'm sorry," he says, then again, loud enough for the table to hear. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry," Katara offers, quick to catch on. "It takes more than a century to erase a language."

"It's useful being able to speak the same language as everyone else, anyway," Toph cuts in. "My cadets are from all over."

It's Sokka, though, who joins Suki at his side. "It's not your fault," he says evenly. "You're a great Fire Lord, and I'm sure you're kid'll be too. They'll have pretty great mentors to show them the way.

He needs to talk to Mai.

*****

Zuko hates sitting at the head of the table. He hates how everyone keeps a wary eye on him, hates how the empty space makes him smaller, hates how every time he disagrees with the council his face tingles where it meets the burn.

He disagrees with them often, but today is particularly difficult. Iroh sits to his left, a decision that left the council scowling, but Iroh remains silent. He's only present to support Zuko, and to smile at him, to offer him more tea when he's wringing his hands under the table.

When he can't put it off any longer, Zuko taps the agenda and turns looks straight ahead. "I am going to implement a new education programme. I will correct the history books to depict the war accurately, and I will teach the traditional dances." He glances at Uncle Iroh. "And I want students to study another languages, from other nations."

A severe looking woman coughs. "Lord Zuko, if you are not finding your education sufficient, I am sure-"

"Don't be foolish, Naiaza." A man interrupts. "The boy wishes to change the course nationwide." He turns to Zuko with narrowed eyes. "I know that you are friends with the Avatar, but you are in no position to rewrite history for him!"

"I know that!" Zuko snaps. "Don't you know I would have done that by now if I could?"

He would. He would fight Sozin himself for even the sliver of the chance that Aang could have spent more time with his people. Zuko visited him once on the first day of spring to find him curled up in the foetal position, tears eroding furrows into his face. A feast day for the Air Nomads, something his history book claimed was about killing the elders to make room for the nest generation and the sobbing boy in his lap told him was for the sanctity of life and new beginnings.

He would rewrite every book by hand.

Iroh sips his tea loudly. Zuko clears his throat. 

"It is my intention to read the most common history book and reprint only what is necessary," he explains.

"And what of the languages, my Lord?" 

Zuko glances in the direction of the question. "I'm sure there's people in the colonies who can speak the Earthen Common in need of work. The Earth Kingdom is the biggest, and so that language will be the most beneficial." He bites his lip. "I don't think we can include the Water Tribe languages, we wouldn't have enough teachers."

The council begins to mutter among themselves. Zuko fidgets. Iroh hums.

A woman hold up her hand and everyone falls silent. Other than Zuko, she's the youngest in the room, which lands her at a solid forty. She turns to him, and he realizes a beat too late she wants his permission to speak. He nods hastily.

"Excuse my presumptions," she starts, and Zuko braces himself. "You look exhausted, my Lord. Allow the council to iron out the details, and I will run the final terms by you once we have agreed on them." She looks him in the eye. "Nothing will be said to the public until we agree on something you find acceptable."

Zuko doesn't particularly want to leave, but even as he stands Iroh stays seated, and that's enough to let him leave without looking back.

The Avatar is on his bed.

In most scenarios he would refer to the man as Aang, but he's sitting ramrod straight without breathing, and Zuko can see rivets of air moving along the flow of his arrow tattoos and he is struck with the revelation that Aang is not only 122 but has lived thousands of lives. It seems impossible that he could die, that there will be a world where he is not the Avatar. Zuko closes the door behind him gently and pulls his headpiece out, shaking his hair loose around his shoulders.

"Are you growing it long?" Aang asks brightly, and Zuko jumps.

"What are you doing here?" He hisses, crossing the room to stand in front of him. Aang's grown taller since he was twelve and had the world at his fingertips and the future resting on his shoulders, but Zuko still has the extra inches.

Aang smiles, unperturbed. "Talking to Kyoshi. She says hi. And that we need a holiday." 

Like that's a normal thing to say.

Zuko looks at him. "You were talking to her there, right? So why were you here?"

Aang shrugs and sits back on the bed. "I just wanted to see you, I guess." He tilts his head appraisingly. "You won't look like him if you grow your hair, if that's what you're worried about."

Zuko reaches up to pull at his hair. "I haven't decided yet."

Aang shrugs. "That's okay. It's your decision." He smiles then, sly, and he definitely learned that from Katara. "The holiday, though. That's happening."

*****

They stop at Kyoshi Island on the way to the colonies. Aang hadn't been impressed by Zoku's idea to turn the holiday into an assessment for future language teachers, but Suki had offered up her homeland as a pitstop. It had been Kyoshi's idea in the first place. Maybe she's forgiven him for attacking it.

Sokka is below deck, trying to learn from the captain about modern sailing practises- he's trying to incoperate it into the tribe's fishing without scaring away the prey. That and he doesn't want to be separated from Suki, who explained that she should probably walk with Zuko to shore, just in case.

Toph jumped at the chance to meet the Earthen Colonies, claiming she deserves a say in who teaches her language. That one took Zuko by surprise- she's currently trying to create a bodyguard system similar to the Dai Lee, and is pretty committed to training them. She's only gotten more intense since her days training Aang, although admittedly she struggles with the non bender candidates. Zuko knows Suki took her to an empty room to work on her self defence.

He's standing on the deck when he hears footsteps behind him, and despite everything he turns to check. Sokka smiles. "Imagine sixteen year old us seeing this," he says over the rush of water. "We're out on boat together and no hostages." 

"Would you ever get tattoos?" Zuko asks, and Sokka blinks.

"Yeah, actually, how did you know?"

Zuko smiles faintly. "Just guessed. Come to the edge with me."

Sokka looks confused, but complies. "A Firebender and a non-bender walk into a lifeboat." He comments, and Zuko laughs. 

"A Fire Lord and a Deputy Chief," he corrects. Sokka looks out at the ocean, the wind pulling his hair from his ponytail.

"The tattoos," he shouts, and Zuko steps closer. "I saw them in an old Water Tribe dialect! They're ancient stuff for Chiefs!"

He sounds so excited, breathless in the salt spray, and Zuko tries to imagine his brown skin etched with swirling lines, announcing his title to everyone he passed. They would look like waves, maybe. Like currents running over his body. He would look intimidating, maybe, but also powerful. And nothing could strip Sokka's kindness, it radiates off him so strongly Zuko can taste it.

"Do you think Suki would like them?" he blurts out, staring pointedly ahead.

"Sure," Sokka answers, "Guys with tattoos are hot." He rubs his chin dramatically. "Not Aang though. He's not my type, no offence."

"I'm not Aang," Zuko says. "None taken."

He wants to ask what's Sokka's type is. He wants to know if Sokka will say tall and awkward and loyal and a fighter, or if he'll say Suki specific things, like chatty or light or feisty.

Zuko hesitates, and the moment passes, and they fall into silence.

They're still standing there, watching dolphin-sharks, when Suki and Toph join them. Both women are sweaty and beaming, and when Sokka recoils after kissing Suki on the cheek she shoves between them and swings her arms over their shoulders. She smells terrible, and Zuko is amazed she's so human. Toph scoffs loudly and jumps onto Sokka's shoulders to 'get a better view' and Sokka's incredulous expression pulls laughter out of him.

They're all so vulnerable around him, now.

Zuko retreats to his room when he first sees Kyoshi Island in the distance, paces rivets into his floor debating what to wear. His hair brushes his shoulders in the mirror. His clothes are dark red, and don't show blood stains. His boots contain gas capsules that can be released from the sole. He exits his room as Fire Lord.

Suki takes his hand as they descend to the shores. Just before he steps foot on the island, she reaches up and pulls the headpiece out of his hair, slips it into his pocket. "Much better," she whispers, and she smells like grapefruit and Sokka and the stale ship food, and Zuko believes her.

They step onto Kyoshian soil at the same time, and Zuko feels a small tremor start at their feet and travel inland, and within seconds they're surrounded by the Kyoshi Warriors. The parade of green stop when they see Suki, faces impassive behind the make-up.

A tall woman steps forward and says something in Kyoshian, and Suki responds in kind, squeezing Zuko's hand. He hears Toph and Sokka descend the ramp behind him. The tall woman nods when Suki is finished talking, then stamps the ground twice. Zuko waits for the earth to bend to her command, but nothing happens. She stamps again, Suki drops his hand, and the warriors start to move.

They swirl and clap and stamp the ground, and it's dizzying to watch, their dresses flaring out and fans creating a whirlwind of movement, and everything is timed perfectly. Zuko has seen old Fire Nation dances, and they're fluid and calculated and use firebending to exaggerate the movements. These woman are none of these things, and without bending they draw focus to only themselves. It takes his breath away.

The tall woman- the leader, he assumes- steps forward while the rest hold their positions. "You two are the first men in centuries to witness that dance," she says. Sokka bows, and Zuko copies him. "You must understand that it has nothing to do with your leaderships, and be thankful that Suki has chosen to love you."

Sokka beams, and Toph rolls her eyes, and Zuko feels there may have been a misunderstanding.

Toph says something then, in Earthen Common, and the Warriors look at her with renowned interest. A girl with long hair pulled back steps forward and Zuko watches with interest as the group try to communicate.

Sokka elbows him. "You ready for a holiday, Lord Jerkface?"

*****

Mai arrives two days later. Everyone gives Zuko a look, and he's left to explain that he really didn't plan this, he has no control over his girlfriend.

It's hard to get that word out of him. His voice box threatens to stop working.

Ty Lee hops off the airship after her, waves cheerily at most and winks at a few while Mai just glowers. Ty Lee was always pretty, but sometime last year she had cut away her braid and switched to tighter clothes to improve her acrobatics, and Zuko sees how the Kyoshi Warriors are quick to forgive their past ally for leaving. It was inevitable, he knows. She could never have been part of a uniformed group.

Mai spots him almost immediately, and drifts over. Her hands are tucked into her sleeves, and Zuko knows she's running her finger over the edge of her blades. She greets him with a kiss on the cheek and he feels a razor pressed against his neck when she loops her hands back there in a hug. When she breaks away, he follows her, and none of his friends follow.

She leads him to his own guest house, waits for him to open the door. She glides, unhurried, into his bedroom- the house only has two rooms, it's small and has suffocating roof and tiny windows and Zuko loves it- and he follows her in to find Ty Lee already perched on the bed. He doesn't know how either of them knew where his house was.

Mai faces him. "Are we alone, my love?"

Zuko swallows. "Yes."

Mai nods slowly, and then her face twists. "Are you a fool?" She spits. "You go on holidays with two woman and a Water Tribe man and don't bring your girlfriend?!"

He's momentarily stunned by the emotions she's showing, and she barrels on. 

"You are the Fire Lord, Zuko! People watch what you're doing! People care what you're doing! You can't just leave me in the palace without a reason or the people will talk!"

Ty Lee jumps up and places her hand on Mai's shoulder, and Mai doesn't even brush it off. Zuko stares.

"Mai," he starts. "Do you- are you feeling well?"

Mai sighs, and the anger melts from her face. She looks like herself again. "We need to have a child, Zuko."

Zuko rubs the back of his neck, and moves to sit on the bed. "I should have known you'd bring it up before I could." He admits and Ty Lee laughs.

Mai looks between them. "You realized it at the engagement party, didn't you?" He nods. She sits down beside him on the bed, and Ty Lee settles beside her. Mai takes their hand in each of hers, and lifts Ty Lee's to her mouth to kiss it gently. Zuko doesn't think she held a knife to Ty Lee.

"We will marry," Mai says, emotionless despite laying out her wedding plans, and Zuko wonders for maybe the first time why. "I will have a child with you, and that child will be Fire Lord, and we will be together until the sun sets."

She quotes the old wedding vow in a way that makes it seem morbid, and the severity of the situation finally settles on him.

Zuko swallows. "We don't have any other choice, do we?"

Mai looks him in the eye, and he can see the naked relief there. "You understand, don't you? There is no one else for us, Zuko. The whole nation is watching our every move, and we have to give them what they want."

He is the Fire Lord, and he is too important to marry who he wants. He has to marry a rich Fire Nation elite woman, he's already pushing the Fire Nation's patience by being so young and peaceful and inexperienced. As for Mai, she would be disgraced and disowned if he broke up with her, and lose all hope for a career.

Zuko lifts their joined hands to his lips, mirroring her tender action with Ty Lee. "It would be my honour," he murmurs, "to marry you, Lady Mai."

She smiles at him, and it doesn't give him butterflies the way it used to but he loves her all the same. They're not the same people they were during the war, sixteen and afraid and unstable at Azula's side, and he's happy all three of them can sit together, holding hands and learning the mechanics of compromise.

Eventually, Ty Lee pulls them up and out, and Zuko shows them to the dining hall. The residents of Kyoshi have communal dinners, he explains, the duties of cooking divided between those who don't want to follow a warrior's path. There's also a farming system in order to remain completely independent from the mainland. He took notes on their lifestyle, and Suki had rolled her eyes but had been smiling, so he thinks she approves.

The dining hall is full of people, everyone moving around and chatting in Kyoshian. The architecture is similar to the guest houses, with low ceilings and long tables with wooden benches instead of the soft pillows of his home, and he feels Mai and Ty Lee stiffen beside him. Zuko fights the urge to take their hands, just silently pushes though the crowd until he sees Toph.

She turns to them warily. "Hey Zuko. Zuko's girlfriend. Zuko's girlfriend's friend."

Ty Lee sniffs. "There's no need to be rude."

"All of you tried to kill me," Toph points out. "I'm being very reasonable."

They shrug simultaneously, and sit down beside her. She leans across the table to punch his arm, and when she's sure she has his attention she waggles her eyebrows suggestively. Zuko groans.

"No groaning at our dinners," Suki chirps, and in an extremely unsubtle move that uses her elbows and boots she makes room beside Zuko on the bench. Zuko tries to sit in a way that means he's not pressed tight against her, but Toph refuses to budge on his other side. Sokka watches the whole event with an amused expression before slipping into easy conversation with Ty Lee, who is more than happy to explain how her short hair has improved her fighting.

After food, Suki decides that they should get swim clothes and regroup at the back beach, and by the time Ty Lee and Mai emerge from his bedroom in beachwear the sun is turning everything golden. Zuko reaches his hand out into the narrow strip of sunlight and wonders how his people could ever perceive this as a weapon. Ty Lee grabs his hanging hand and twirls under it. 

"Not everyone in the Fire Nation is a bender," she reminds him. "Besides, when people want to fight, they can weaponize anything."

Her hand is holding his ever so gently, but Zuko knows two ways to break his wrist from that position, and has no doubt she knows five. He feels no urge to let go.

"How did you know what I was thinking?"

Ty Lee laughs, and drops his hand to pat his cheek. "I've known you since I was six, Zuko."

"I'm not the same person," he starts, and then stops.

"You look great. As do you, Mai. Are you ready to go?"

Mai ghosts a kiss over his cheek, where flesh meets scar. "Thank you, Zuko. You don't look terrible. Let us go."

*****

Zuko is the last to step foot on the beach. Mai and Ty Lee walk beside him until they see the surf, and the latter breaks into a run, with Mai chasing after her. She still runs with her back at an odd angle, even though she hasn't had to fight in years.

By the time he catches up, he can see them only as distant figures in the water.

"Zuko?" 

He hears Toph call out for him, but she sounds unsure. "It's me," he confirms, and she waves a hand to pull up a smooth rock beside her. He sits down.

"It's still fuzzy, trying to see on sand," she says flippantly, but her brow is furrowed. "I can't go swimming with everyone either. I guess I'm not much of a beach person, huh?"  
Zuko thinks back to his last time at the beach, Azula sunburnt and honest and showing him a side to his mother that he hadn't thought existed. "I'm not much of a beach person either."

They sit in silence for a minute, and Zuko feels Toph shiver as the sun sets and a breeze picks up. He remembers how Katara used to always sit beside him when riding Appa, unable to deal with the thin clothing in the air and claiming he was the warmest, and raises an arm to place around her shoulder. Toph raises a curtain of sand.

"No thanks," she says as he tries to shake it out of his sleeves. "Zuko, what happened with Mai? Don't lie."

Zuko sighs. "Is it that obvious?"

"Nah," Toph assures him. "I just notice things. Now spill."

Zuko sighs. "Sometimes," he says, "the person you want to be with when you think you're going to die is not the same person you want to spend your life with."

Toph whistles. "Did you steal that line from your Uncle?"

She pauses, then- "I don't want to spend my life with someone like that."

Zuko stares at her. "Are you sure? It's a long time to be alone."

"I'm not alone, stupid. I have all you guys."

Zuko punches her shoulder. "Hey!" she snaps.

"Sorry," he offers. "I thought that was how you show affection."

She punches him back, hard. Zuko laughs, and when he puts his arm around her this time she leans in.

It's dark by the time the group runs out of the water, tripping over themselves in haste to reach their towels. Zuko starts a bonfire and Toph pulls up more smooth stone benches, and Suki points out constellations. 

"That's Raava," she says, pointing at a large triangular chain. "Kyoshi told us that the Avatar Quinzar moved the stars so every time we looked at the sky we would think of the Avatar's twin spirit, and in turn Raava watches over us."

"That's beautiful," Sokka breathes. He's holding Suki's hand. Zuko looks away, feels like he's intruding.

Ty Lee traces an oval shape, and Zuko joins up the stars she's referring to with a small flare. "My friend from the circus called that constellation Sappho" she says. "It's a sword over a heart. It's for people who can't be together or have to keep their relationship secret."

Toph snorts. "Cheers to that."

Everyone turns to her. "What? Someone needed to say it, and none of you have the balls."

Sokka coughs. Ty Lee and Suki go red. Mai's lip twitch, just slightly, but for her it's a confession. Zuko just wishes he knows what everyone was confessing.

"This got awkward." Toph says brightly. "Time to change the subject. I'm blind! Tell me what stars look like."

Sokka, always quick to recover, takes the lead. The tension bleeds away and Zuko relaxes. The breeze dies down and Zuko dims the fire, instead sending up little balls of fire to hang above them. Suki makes a pleased little sound and reaches up to one, and Sokka kisses her cheek. 

"Look up," Ty Lee cries, and they all tip their heads back to see a glowing pale green whale drifting above them, a stark contrast to the spilled ink of the night sky.  
"A spirit," Zuko whispers, and nobody even berates him for pointing out the obvious. Beside him, Toph gasps. 

"It's singing," she murmers, and Zuko strains his good ear. 

"I hear it," Mai says, and suddenly he does too. It's quiet and low, and so lonesome that Zuko longs to fling himself into the sky to join it.

"You okay man?" Sokka asks, and Zuko reaches up to find his cheeks wet.

"Yes," he says. "Sorry, I- I don't know what came over me there."

They watch the spirit until it swims out of sight. Zuko wonders if it would lead them to Aang, then wonders what Aang's doing at the edge of Ba Sing Se. Although his Uncle had retaken the city, he still holds a complicated relationship with it's people- Zuko knows that he's not the same person as his father, but the title of Fire Lord hangs heavy on his shoulders and Ba Sing Se still refuses trade.

He wishes he wasn't the Fire Lord, just a normal person on holidays with his friends. He wishes he could stay here instead of moving on to a diplomatic mission in the Colonies. He wishes he had someone to spend the rest of his life with.

"I wish this night could last forever," sighs Sokka, but Suki shakes her head. 

"We have the rest of our lives, remember? There will be better days than this, and they'll last just as long as the hard days and that will be kind of awful but better ones can come again."

She jumps up and yells something in Kyoshian, head tilted back to the stars, and Toph follows suit, bellowing something harsh sounding. Ty Lee and Sokka stand at the same time, he screams something tribal and she some Earthen dialect from her circus days. Mai rises daintily and releases a series of claps that Zuko thinks is Morse Code, and then everyone is staring at him.

Sokka elbows him. "Let loose, Jerkface!"

Zuko doesn't know any language other than the Common, so whatever he says everyone will understand. He doesn't even know what they said for inspiration. He sends a panicked glance at Mai, who raises an eyebrow, completely unsympathetic. Toph leans ever so slightly into him. 

Zuko bites his lip, throws back his head, and screams.

He screams for not knowing what to say. He screams because everyone speaks multiple languages except him, screams for not knowing they existed. He screams for the Firebender Avatar who used the element to move the stars and for his people who only know how to attack with it. He screams for Ozai in prison and Azula in a mental ward and Ursa dead. He screams for the people who have no families and how it's his fault for killing. He screams for his deaf left ear and left eye that doesn't open right.

When he looks back down, face flushed and panting, everyone is staring. It's a somewhat common occurence. "Uh." He starts, then realizes he doesn't have an explanation.

"I said 'eat the rich'," Mai says, just a second after the silence becomes awkward. "I know it's ironic, I just panicked."

She doesn't mean it as a joke, but Zuko laughs anyway, and he hears everyone laugh with him. Suki's probably right about better days coming, but he still doesn't want this to end. Not while he's still just a normal guy on a beach with the people he loves. Not yet.

*****

There's a clearing half a mile deep in the woods that takes him just over twenty minutes to walk to from the palace, and Zuko's technically not supposed to be there. He's supposed to train in the palace grounds with his guards, though he suspects that's partially for their benefit. 

He works hard not to burn anything, keeping light on his feet and trying to remember Aang's defensive style of fighting and non-benders cautious approach. After his trip to the Earthen Colonies, Mai and Ty Lee had been giving him lessons on fighting without relying on his bending, and was unpleasantly surprised when Ty Lee had Chi Blocked him and he found himself helpless.

With slow movements he works around the clearing, cheers when he successfully launches fire from a swirling kick to leave no scorched footprints. He swaps to swords then, walking to the edge of the trees before ducking down to remove his shirt and take a drink.

There's a movement to his right, and he remains squatting but uses the excuse to send a ring of fire around the perimeter. Azula's blue had only burned people, he remembers, and the red of the soldiers just destroys everything. He wonders if there's any text on what the different colour variations achieve. He wonders if his grandfather burned those books too.

"Sozin's ass!" Someone shrieks. "Is that fire pink!?"

Pink fire can't burn people or vegetation. It is however, really hot, and Zuko hopes whoever's nearby backs off.

"You can't say that name!" Another voice says, indignant.

"I'm reclaiming it," the first voice replies, and Zuko belatedly realizes that the voices belong to teenagers. He drops the fire out of curiosity.

Five kids walk into the clearing, albeit one of them trying to pull them back. 

"Guyssssss," she hisses. "That weird fire could come back!"

They haven't seem him yet, Zuko guesses, amused. They seem to be around sixteen, and in Fire Nation clothes, despite the varied skin tones. He stays quiet, wondering what they're doing here.

"I'll fight that fire for you, Cata," the girl at the front says, and she's definitely the one who swore. 

"Cute," Cata says. "I'm still not going out with you."

The girl's face falls into a pout while her friends laugh, and despite himself Zuko laughs too. The kids all whip around to spot him sitting in the grass, and honestly, he wasn't even hiding. He had had much better instincts at sixteen. That or he was paranoid from being a traitor to his nation and wanted dead by his father.

"Uh," says the loud girl. "Hi."

Zuko straightens up, and when they see the swords in his hands they all jump back. He coughs and pointedly and slips them into his belt, but they stay away.

"I'm not going to do anything," he says, rolling his eyes.

A girl steps forward, and her skin is so dark that she couldn't possibly be Fire Nation. 

"Sorry to disturb you," she says calmly, and her friends fall in behind her. "We're not looking for a fight, but if you're done here we would like some privacy."

Zuko thinks they may not recognise him.

"It's a pretty big clearing," he offers. "You can use it with me."

The leader frowns. "Everyone else will be arriving soon," she tells him. "We need the whole clearing. We're here every week."

Cata elbows her.

"Well, in that case..." Zuko shrugs and picks up his shirt again before turning to face them and bowing. "It's all yours."

He sees the exact moment they recognise him. His scar is a brand.

"How did I not know the Fire Lord is ripped?" The loud girl says, and they snap out of their daze and in perfect synchronization push a boy to the front. He's the only one who looks fully Fire Nation, and Zuko heart goes out to the kids for thinking they need that layer of protection.

The boy bows. "My Lord," he says, but his accent is slightly off. If Zuko hadn't spent the last few weeks in the Colonies he wouldn't have even noticed.

"Call me Zuko," he says. "Can I ask this stays between us? I'm on house arrest at the palace these days, but it's driving me crazy."

They slowly file out in a line, and Zuko knows they're sizing him up. He tries to keep his gaze even and friendly- for some reason, this exchange feels like a test.

"Okay, Zuko," the leader says, and pauses. Zuko doesn't flinch, and she continues. "We weren't kidding about the amount of people coming, but you can watch from the sides."

Zuko obligingly moves back, and the boy with the colonies stamps his foot and raises his arms, and pillars rises on opposite ends of the clearing, two at each end. The boy does a strange move then, it looks like Waterbending, and Zuko gasps when vines come from the forest to make a net between the pillars.

A few more moves, and Zuko watches him level the ground and leave a dip halfway between each net. When he's done, he turns to Zuko with raised eyebrow, and his friends copy, each looking on edge.

Zuko claps.

He hears commotion then, and takes a step back into the trees and watch about twenty kids run into the clearing. Zuko can make out a Fire Nation kid holding something round, and two sisters with hair dyed the colour of fire and a boy without his left leg. He watches with interest as they seamlessly divide in two, and the sphere is placed in the dip in the middle.

The dark skinned girl and a new boy who reminds him of Katara somehow stand in front of it and everyone is grinning and Zuko is so confused. They mutter something then, and the brown skinned boy glances to where Zuko's hiding and back to the girl.

He raises his hand, and everyone goes quiet.

The girl sighs. "Come out, man."

And so Zuko walks into the clearing, feeling somewhat guilty. Immediately, he hears his name and then the kids move, all facing him. He sees Firebending stances but also Chi Blocking and at least two Earthbending. Most of them just have their hands in fists guarding their faces. Most of them look terrified.

"Hi." Zuko says. "Uh. Zuko here, obviously. Again, can we keep this a secret? I'll be in loads of trouble if the council finds out I snuck out of the palace again."

A boy clears his throat. He's holding a flame in one hand, but the other is holding a boy with impossibly white hair and skin. "So you're not trying to purify the Fire Nation?"

Zuko feels nauseous. "I- what?"

The boy with no leg laughs. "Look at us, O Great Fire Lord. We're not exactly prime representatives."

Zuko casts a panicked look to the original five kids, but each just shake their head at him.

Another kid speaks up. They're wearing a mix of boy and girl robes, and Zuko remembers that they had brought the sphere. "My people were killed during the war," they say.  
"I'm not downplaying the pain of the other Nations, or anything, but they weren't the only casualties. Anyone seen as imperfect died to preserve the image of the Fire Nation."

Murmurs of agreement echo around the clearing. Zuko has a stomach ache. This feels like a more important conversation than the ones in the council room. This feels like the most important conversation he's ever had. 

"That's not right," he whispers, but his voice carries.

The brown skinned boy takes a step towards him, and the dark skinned girl follows. She lays a hand on his shoulder, and whatever her test was he feels like he's passed it. "No," she says. "We never thought it was."

Slowly, the teenagers step back and face the ball again. Zuko swallows down a lump in his throat and waves a hand for them to start. One of the fire haired sisters runs forward and kicks it, hard. She turns back to him, beaming wildly. "We call it Foot-Ball!" She shouts across the clearing. "It's because I kick the ball! With my foot!"

"Shut up Enzri," Her sister calls. "It's called Sokkar! Foot-Ball is stupid!"

"Sokkar after Sokka?" Zuko asks, confused, but no ones around to hear him, all running after the ball. Cata manages to kick it into one of the nets, and half of the teenagers hug her while the other half groan.

Zuko leaves while they're still playing, doesn't say goodbye to any of them. He knows their schedule, and can see them again whenever he wants, but it still feels like closure on something.

He leaves a golden button behind for them to find.

*****

The councilwoman Naiaza requests he come to a meeting after tea, and for the first time walking down the corridor to the council room doesn't fill him with trepidation.

He shuts the door without slamming it and sits at the head of the table. The room is already full, and Zuko inclines his head in apology for his tardiness. To his surprise, everyone looks relaxed. Further surprising is the realization that he is, too.

A man clears his throat. Quin Lei Sr, Zuko thinks. "My Lord," he says, "We thank you for your recent trip to the colonies, it made the job of revisiting the education programme much easier when you supplied the Colonials for examples."

"How are they doing?" Zuko asks reflexively. "I have not gotten the chance to speak with them since they arrived."

"Every effort was made to ensure their comfort," Naiaza assures him, and he slumps into his cushion, relieved.

A woman coughs and slides a charter down the table, and Zuko remembers her as the woman who promised to find a compromise when he first asks to change the education system. He takes the charter from her, and asks her name.

It's Sabran, and she looks surprised he asked. Blaming his poor memory, he apologizes for his blunder, but Sabran reminds him that she had served under Ozai, who had never bothered to learn their names.

Zuko doesn't slam doors and doesn't permit Agni Kai's unless consented by both sides, he pays his servants well and attends local markets to meet his people. Zuko at sixteen was willing to rebuild his Nation piece by piece, but Zuko at twenty-five is still fighting his father's ghost.

He reads the charter. It enforces the Earthen common as a mandatory language for students aged twelve to eighteen, and offers a scholarly expedition to the Colonies for a year for anyone who wishes to pursue the language and become a teacher in the future. It suggests all schools to have a culture week where traditional dances and food is encouraged. Due to his newest ask, it offers local clubs teaching the art of Foot-Ball.

"Sokkar," Zuko points out.

"Apologies, My Lord," Sabran says. "We cannot have a game named after a Water Tribe man as our new reforms, however close you may be to him." She doesn't sound remotely apologetic.

"I see." Zuko runs his finger down the charter. "And when is this Culture week?"

"I actually asked General Iroh about that, My Lord. He suggests the last week of summer, so that our celebrations will grant us strength to tide us through the dark months until we see our Sun again."

Zuko signs the charter.

*****

He wakes up early, as most mornings, get changed and washes his face, and Azula is dead. He meets his Uncle for breakfast and they laugh together over a jasmine tea, and Azula is dead. He takes a walk in the gardens and finds shapes in the clouds, and he writes a letter to Aang and another to Suki, and he kisses Mai's cheek in the halls and then pokes her in the privacy of the Royal Lounge and Azula is dead, Azula is dead, Azula is dead.

"No," he says when a servant delivers the news, ignoring for the first time how she flinches back from his tone. "No, she can't be dead. She can't be- I'd know. I would feel it."

He distantly realizes he's on his knees. Voices start appearing around him, but it sounds like he's underwater. He brushes worried hands off him and struggles to his feet.

"I'd know," he whispers, and then Uncle Iroh is there, and his hand is cradling Zuko's face but Zuko knows he won't hug him unless Zuko himself initiates it. Zuko shakes his head frantically, and allows Iroh to lead him away.

When he comes too again, he's on his bed. Katara sits beside him, checking for a fever with the back of her hand, and when she sees his eyes open hugs him tightly.

"What's happening?" Toph asks, frustrated. "Is he awake?"

Zuko sits up entirely for her sake. He blinks a few times, notices the amount of people in his room, and lies back down.

There's a weak series of chuckles around the room.

"She's dead," Zuko tells the ceiling. "She's dead and I drank tea and admired flowers and laughed and she's dead."

A question hangs, unasked, in the air. Zuko goes back to sleep.

He wakes again and feels worse, but his room is empty and cold and he pushes his blankets on the floor to convince himself to move. After a hot bath, he feels like he can maybe function again, and once dressed -he leaves out the headpiece and his hair tickles his collarbones- he opens the door.

He's faintly surprised to find nobody standing outside it. He closes it, doesn't slam, and walks down to his Uncle's brewery.

Iroh is lying on the floor with Sokka and Suki, all three with thin clothes over their faces.

"Zuko," his Uncle calls. "Forgive me, you were not expected to wake until sundown." He pats the floor beside him. "Come, join our skincare routine."

Tears come to Zuko's eyes. He breathes in deeply, and moves to lie beside his Uncle.

"Wait," Suki calls. She drops Sokka's hand and rolls away from him. "Lie here."

"Uncle?" Zuko asks carefully, but the man just hums. 

Zuko sits gently between Sokka and Suki, then lies back.

"Can I hold your hand?" Suki asks quietly.

Zuko takes her hand. "I'm really into holding hands lately," he admits. His eyes close and the steam from the brewery settles on his face. Sokka takes his other hand. The tears spill out of his eyes, but it doesn't feel like a weakness. It doesn't really feel like anything, so he just lets it happen.

After an undefinable amount of time, Iroh's stomach rumbles loudly. Zuko lets out a weak chuckle and stands. "Come on," he says. "Let's go face the world."

The dining hall is full, but the head of the table is reserved for him. On the left side sits Aang, beside him Katara. On the right is Mai, the only one not eating, and beside her Ty Lee. It's a nice parallel, but not very subtle.

His entire council also sits at the dining table, as well as Toph, who's chatting to the Earthen Common teachers. 

"This is nice," Iroh comments, and everyone whips around. Zuko waves weakly.

"Sorry for starting to eat without you," Katara starts, but Zuko shakes his head.

"Of course," he says. "My home is your home."

If any of his council disagree with him, they don't mention it. Zuko takes his seat at head of the table, and Suki, Sokka, and Iroh all squeeze his shoulders as they pass. A servant places food in front of Zuko and he thanks him absentmindedly, not ready to eat just yet. He listens to the conversations around him without joining in, refuses drink and dessert and comforting words.

When he can't bear it any longer, Zuko pushes away his plate. "I would like to know" he says, "How my sister died in a place built to house the unstable. It was supposed to be a safe place."

His friends look down at their plates, almost synchronized. His council glance around at each other. His Uncle closes his eyes, pained.

"My Lord," Sabran says, voice unwavering. "I'm afraid Lady Azula killed herself in her own room. There was nothing to be done to save her."

Zuko grits his teeth. "Nothing to be done? You expect me to believe Azula managed to kill herself with no weapons and it happened so fast nothing could be done?"

"Zuko," Mai warns, and lifts his arms to reveal scorched marks left by his hands on the table.

"I'll spare you the details, My Lord, but she had a weapon. Staff have no idea how long she harboured it."

Zuko stands. "I want them fired," he spits. "All of them. If I ever come across them..." He trails off, then turns to Naiaza. "Tell me what happened her."

Naiaza pales. "My Lord-"

"Tell me," Zuko hisses.

"There was a blade, My Lord. Barely the size of your thumb. She bled out on her bed."

Azula. Strong, stubborn, Azula, who saw life in the hospital as no life at all. Zuko put her in there. Zuko may have placed her on the execution black himself. He can't imagine her pale and unmoving- she was always so alive, lit up by the fire inside her. She was mean and cruel and mocking and terrible, but she was so alive.

"I don't understand," Toph says suddenly. "Zuko, you were sixteen when we fought your father and you would have killed him yourself. And Azula was awful to you- you don't have to worry about her anymore."

Zuko flinches, physically moves back. Nobody corrects Toph. Nobody tells her that was out of line. He feels sick.

"She was my sister," he whispers, and runs.

*****

The palace's messenger hawks are worked overdrive for the nest week, what with several important political figures refusing to leave the Fire Nation until Zuko pulls himself together.

The main reason Zuko does that is to give the poor birds a break.

His approval rating also drops significantly in that week due to the application of his charter- many parents don't want their children learning foreign languages. Zuko feels oddly proud that it has already had such an effect on the nation. He only knows this due to the updates given by Sabran's sporadic visits. She's undeterred by his closed door, and shouts loud enough to be heard from every spot in his room. Which is no easy feat, considering the sheer size of the Royal Bedrooms.

It seems to be a two-way thing, though, because he stubs his toe getting changed and curses loudly.

"... Did you just say Sozin's ass?" says a voice outside his door, and Zuko almost just collapses back into bed.

"I'm reclaiming it?" He calls back.

"Respect, dude." And yeah, it's Sokka out there. Zuko adjusts his headpiece and opens the door.

Sokka immediately falls to the floor at his feet. Zuko brushes down his robes. Sokka remains on the ground.

"Uh." Zuko says. Are you ok? Did that hurt?"

Sokka rolls over to smile up at him dazedly. "Hurt when I fell from heaven?"

Zuko blinks. "No, when you fell on the floor. I saw you."

Sokka sighs and springs to his feet. "Come on. Mai wants to talk to you, if you're up for it."

He's not smiling anymore, and Zuko thinks it's probably his fault. He follows Sokka down the hallway in awkward silence, feeling oddly put-out. 

The walk from his bedroom to the Royal Lounge takes almost five minutes on a regular day, but considering Zuko's been bedridden for the last week he's partial to strolling. All the hallways in the palace have rich red carpeting that cost more than the annual salary for the average citizen. It's the tapestries, though, that get under his skin. They depict every known Fire Lord- stern, pale, long haired individuals watch him disapprovingly.

His favourite part of the palace's design is the flor to ceiling windows every few steps. They're designed to maximise sunlight, and he can feel the warmth steeling him as they approach the lounge.

Sokka reaches to open the door, and stills. Zuko waits. His brown skin looks nice against the gold of the doorknob.

"Hey man," Sokka starts, staring fixedly at the door. "I know I don't know what you're going through, but. We're all here, y'know? Staying in your room all day isn't the way to fight this fight."

"I don't know how else to do it," Zuko admits.

Sokka sighs and releases the door. "I'm pretty much living here for the next two weeks. If you need someone, get me."

He turns to Zuko and smiles weakly. "I hope you know how to do that."

Zuko doesn't know how to reply without sounding desperate, so he nods and opens the door.

Mai is fully reclined on the couch, and Ty Lee is doing a series of stretches in a patch of sun by the windows. Zuko approaches cautiously. 

Mai sits up when she sees him, and Ty Lee makes an awful popping noise in her back before sitting on the floor in front of them. Zuko takes a grape from the lowtable and sits.

"Welcome back, Zuko!" Ty Lee chirps, and he thanks her- it's refreshing that she's not angling for him to talk about his feelings. She's more emotionally intelligent than he gave her credit for, when they were young.

"I'm afraid there's terrible news," Mai tells him, sounding unafraid but also not sounding like any particular emotion. Considering how she doesn't bother with the careful persona in private, Zuko gets suspicious. He places his hand over hers, and she nods sharply.

"I have been suspected for allegiance with Azula in order to aid her death," Mai says, and Zuko's head spins.

"Were you?" He asks, and loves that she never plays dumb. She looks him in the eye when she confirms.

Zuko slumps back with a long exhale. "It was killing her anyway, being in there, wasn't it?"

Ty Lee nods. "I know it sounds horrible, it was for her sake. Despite everything, Azula was our best friends for years."

"Love and hate are the opposite sides of a coin," Zuko murmurs.

Mai sighs. "The coin was perpetually spinning. It never landed. I wouldn't let her out, she would have killed you."

"Okay," says Zuko. "Okay. Why have you been suspected? Is Ty Lee in trouble too?"

Mai nods to herself and starts reciting. Zuko wonders how many times she practised this. "We both agreed, and Ty Lee was aware of my plans. I volunteered to sneak in the weapon because I would be harder to accuse for treason due to my place as your girlfriend. I am suspected because I joined you on Kyoshi Island two days after you left, leaving time for me to give Azula the weapon before leaving the Nation. It was also a blade- an easy connection to make."

Zuko nods, thinking. "Did you give it to her during the two days I was gone?"

Mai lifts her upper lip in a sneer. "No, those fools in council just want to make me look stupid. I gifted it to her the day before, and there is no record of my presence."  
Zuko narrows his eyes. "If there's no proof, what's the problem?"

Mai shakes her head ruefully. "You don't understand. Even the rumour could ruin me. Azula wasn't counted as royal anymore, but it was still a murder."

Ty Lee flinches at the word, and Mai reaches out to brush hair behind her ear.

"Besides," she says, turning back to him. "The council will charge me despite the lack of proof- they've been looking for a reason to kick me out after I forced their hand on your language law."

Zuko stares. "You what?"

Ty Lee rolls her eyes. "Zuko, there was, like, no compromise in that charter! You hardly thought they were being nice, they're your father's council."

"Marry me," Zuko blurts out, then turns red. "It seems fair, after what you did for me." He pauses. "I mean, if you want to, obviously, I know you and Ty Lee..."

Ty Lee jumps up. "That's perfect! No one would accuse the Fire Lord's wife of anything, and it would be easier for us when you're married because people won't look so close!"

She takes Mai's hands in hers. "You don't have to Mai, but I think this could work."

Mai doesn't react for a second, and then smiles so brightly Zuko wants to smack his sixteen year old self for thinking she loved less intensely than others.

She turns to him, smile dimmed but tears in her eyes. "I'll marry you, Zuko. I love you, even if its not in the way we thought."

Zuko kisses her forehead, and high fives Ty Lee. "The attention will be off you too," she reminds him. "You can finally focus on your relationships." 

She drops him a completely unsubtle wink. Zuko splutters.

"I don't have any relationships!" he protests, and both women sigh. They're kind of a scary couple.

"Open your eyes, Zuko." Ty Lee tells him. "Or your heart. Or your pants. Any would work, considering how they look at you."

He leaves the room engaged but with more relationship problems than maybe anyone, ever. 

*****

His engagement party is probably worse than Aang and Katara's. He has to sit at the head of the table when he's eating, and otherwise he has to entertain several hundred people he doesn't recognize. There's a particularly awkward situation with Mai's uncle, who still hasn't forgotten the Boiling Rock debacle, and the spirits chose not to dance over his outdoor plaza, even though the Avatar is present.

Sabran approaches him quietly, and he jumps embarrassingly high when she taps his shoulder.

"My apologies, My Lord," she says, but she's smirking. "Since your decision to fire those of the council who held suspicions against your fiancée-"

Zuko cuts her off with a shrug. "I wrote them a letter of recommendation. I won't have people in my council unless they are loyal to both me and mine."

Sabran coughs. "I know, My Lord. I was merely asking if there are possible candidates for replacement here tonight?"

Zuko chuckles. "You should never mix pleasure and politics, Sabran. Go enjoy my party, Spirits' know I can't." He pauses. "But the answer is yes, and I hope you're not the youngest on the council anymore."

Sabran nods. "I wish you love with this marriage, My Lord," and then she's gone, and Zuko turns back to whoever he was speaking with realize he really doesn't want to make small talk.

He offers no explanation, just sees Aang's tattoos in the crowd and moves toward them. The Avatar is dressed in traditional Air Nation garments, and looks content to just hang off Katara's arm and offer no contribution to her conversations.

He sees Zuko and leans against him. "Isn't she amazing," he says, and Katara must be used to this because she doesn't react other than to hug Zuko and congratulate him.

"It's not healthy to spend a week in your room and then overcompensate with a party like this," she warns him, but presses a drink into his hand with a wink. "Now go find my brother, he wants to see you."

Aang frowns. "Wait! Come see me later, I have an idea about what to do with the land at the Earth Kingdom port." He leans up to whisper into Zuko's good ear. "I think we should found a city!"

"He's not even drunk," comes a wry voice behind him. "This is embarrassing."

Zuko steps back to see Suki, her clothing soaked over her chest.

"Hey Katara," she says. "Some asshole spilled his drink on me- mind cleaning me up?"

Katara swirls her hand around with a flourish, and water sinks into Suki's clothes before retreating with the drink. Suki hugs her and steps back, and immediatly makes eye contact with him. She smiles a little too tightly.

"Congrats," she says, eyes dipping to the side. "You must really love Mai to marry her."

"Of course," Zuko says. They're both sacrificing a lot to be married, and the thought of having a child with her is strange and uncomfortable. But he's known her since he was nine and loved her since he was sixteen, even if not in the way they had thought. He couldn't pick anyone else to enter a political marriage with.

Suki's face shuts down, and he knows its his fault but has no idea what he said. Talking to her and Sokka recently has been a minefield, and he doesn't want to hurt either of them but he's doing it anyway.

Suki nods at Aang and Katara before excusing herself, and Zuko suddenly feels so tired.

"Uh, Zuko? What the hell was that?" Katara asks, snapping him out of it. The bewilderment must show on his face, because Aang peers at him quizzically before his eyebrows go comically high.

"Woah," he says. "Zuko, did you not tell them that you're marrying Mai for political reasons?"

"Hush!" Zuko snaps, looking around warily. "Why would I tell them? It's obvious she's with Ty Lee."

Katara stares at him. "The Water Tribe marry whoever they want, Zuko, and the Kyoshi Warriors don't even get married! Me and Aang got engaged even though the political odds were against us. Why would they know about political arrangements?"

Zuko switches his drink to his other hand. Swallows.

Katara sighs, taking pity. "Look. Sokka's my brother, he tells me things. They won't go to you, they don't want to scare you off." She points at him menacingly, and if not for the goofy Airbender gazing adoringly from her elbow Zuko would take a step back. "You need to stop thinking of excuses not to go to them."

That's it, really. Zuko knows he's done for, can't pretend anymore that every time Suki hugs him he feels it against his skin for days, how Sokka tells a joke and he laughs even when they're terrible to see him smile. Can't pretend he hated seeing them together until he pictured them all together and how that possibility had kept him up all night.  
All this time he's been making up excuses. All this time they've been right in front of him and he's been watching from the side-line instead of playing the game.

"I have to go," he says to the couple, and Katara smiles triumphantly and Aang throws a thumbs up.

Zuko pushes his way through the crowd, not particularly caring about the hands pulling at his robes to entice conversation. He reaches the outdoor plaza, and the sun is setting so the Fire Nation has all moved indoors. There are no spirits dancing for Zuko's engagement, but there are two figures sitting in the centre of the floor, watching the sun dip behind the mountains.

Zuko hates the feeling of watching the sun set, it's like being dunked in an ice bath and pulling out with a few extra pounds on his back, but he sits down beside them anyway.

"Congratulations," Sokka offers, tearing his eyes away from the view to address Zuko. "Must be nice, to marry the love of your life."

Zuko shrugs. "I wouldn't know."

Suki turns to face him, confusion clear on her face.

"I love Mai," Zuko explains. "I've known her since I was nine. She's from an old, rich family, will provide a Firebending child, so we decided to get married."

He squints at the sunset. "I'm on thin ice with the Nation after bringing in the cultural studies. I can't afford to marry a Water Tribe man."

"Why would you marry a Water Tribe man?" Suki asks, no hesitation.

Zuko looks at her. Her face is golden in the sunlight, and her hair is the same length as his these days, pulled back in an easy ponytail. Looking at her is the opposite of the sunset.

"Because Kyoshi Warriors don't get married," he says easily, then turns to Sokka. "And if we were married, you would have a claim to the Fire Lord title and I would have a claim to the Chief of the Water Tribe title, and I think you would find that funny."

Sokka smiles. "Funny? That's untapped potential right there. Imagine the chaos."

Suki sighs. "That's as much as a confession as we're going to get off you, isn't it?" 

Zuko takes her hand and kisses it. Sokka snorts, and Zuko kisses his hand too. He feels light for the first time since his sister died. Maybe since before then. He lies back, using Sokka's arm as a pillow, and Suki rests her head over his stomach.

"What now?" He asks.

"I'm willing to just be where you guys are," Suki replies. "I'm pretty much in love with you two. I though it was obvious."

"It was obvious to me, babe," Sokka assures her. "I think it was obvious to everyone to everyone except the Fire Lord here. You were not subtle."

He pokes Zuko's side. "I hold hands with everyone," he protests lightly, still caught up with Suki's statement.

"Have you seen Ty Lee?" 

Mai's voice comes with no warning, Zuko feels them stiffen. He tilts his head back to see her.

"No, why?"

Mai hums. "Toph just informed me my fiancé may be cheating on me outside. I told her I would ask my girlfriend, for a second opinion."

He can feel Suki's laughter vibrating through her. 

"Don't get her pregnant." Mai advises in lieu of goodbye, and then Sokka's laughing too.

They stay outside until the sun sets, and when Zuko squirms they pull him up and drop each others hands and face the party.

"It's going to be hard," Suki whispers. "To love each other like this."

Zuko smiles- and its so easy, now.

"Trust me," he says. "Its harder not to."

*****

The giant metal statue of Aang is made by traditional sculptors, much to Toph's chagrin. She's trained her Earthbenders in the art of metalbending, and was looking forward to testing their abilities. Aang had assured her that being the city's police force would prove testing enough as the people moved in, and the thought of thousands of people living in his city makes Zuko nervous.

The statue also makes Aang look taller then he is, which is hard to explain aloud.

"I can't believe they made me twelve," Aang whines beside him. They're standing on the edge of the island just off the coast of Republic City, and Aang's house is being built behind him.

Zuko laughs. "You piqued as a person fifteen years ago. How does it feel?"

Aang sends a spiral of air to mess up his hair. It's long enough to get stuck in his mouth.

"Mature," he comments dryly.

"Hey! I just founded a city! I'm building a house! I have a wife." 

"You're one hundred and twenty seven, Aang. Its about time."

Aang looks him up and down. "I don't know whether dating Suki or marrying Mai made you mean, but it was definitely one of them."

He looks over his shoulder as if to address someone, and Zuko waits.

"They're almost here," he says, excited, and Zuko tilts his head until he can hear the distant chatter.

"How's Kyoshi?" He asks.

Aang replies after a small silence. "She would rather you address her yourself."

Zuko waves awkwardly at the empty space beside Aang. "Uh. How are you?"

"She is well," Aang tells him. "She is trying to understand what Suki sees in you."

"She likes my hair," Zuko offers. "And she thinks scars are sexy."

Aang laughs. Zuko doesn't really understand the whole past Avatar thing- Aang has explained it like he could always access his past lives, but when he started founding a city Kyoshi had just turned up. Either way, Zuko hopes that Aang shows up every time the next Avatar laughs.

The pair watch as their friends arrive, Katara leading the way despite her growing bump, Toph in full uniform, Mai and Ty Lee holding hands and looking both miserable and elated to be present, respectively.

Sokka and Suki come into sight last, and Sokka throws his hands into the air to wave. He's yelling something that Zuko can't quite hear yet but would certainly get them caught, but he stopped caring about that sometime in the last five years.

Once everyone has reached the peak, Zuko sends a flare into the sky and the statue begins to rise. Avatar Aang looks down over Republic city, keeping them safe. Its slow and steady work, and Toph grumbles that she could have done it faster, but Zuko's in awe.

Just you wait, he thinks, looking at twelve year old Aang. You're going to save the world and you're going to save me, and everything's going to be better one day.

"Aang wasn't that tall," Suki mutters once its upright.

**Author's Note:**

> toph's story of nicks being put into a wooden collar is a true story from when the English were taking over Ireland


End file.
